It Was A Dark and Stormy
It was a dark and stormy night in the
town of Greendale. Little
did the people know, an old gargoyle was up to something in the church’s
“Double, double, toil and trouble, fire burn, and cauldron bubble…”
Mandy the gargoyle snapped Macbeth shut. She sighed happily, “I wish I
was a witch…then I wouldn’t be stuck wringing bells. I’d be a star, too,
published in all the books…”
Yes, Mandy was always in a bad mood. When someone came looking for
thrills, Mandy would snatch them and writher their bones to make her
bread. She’d use the flesh to sew her quilt, and thread the hair in the
needle to sew it.
Tonight, Mandy was especially mad. She took her eyeball stew in a jug,
and threw her shoe-leather quilt around her back.
“I’m hungry,” she moaned. Then she slunk off into the night, her
Heather Summers stood on the window sill of her bedroom. She cawed like
a crow, and took off into the night.
A gargoyle had bitten her. Do you know who that gargoyle is? Mandy.
There was the meowing of a cat in the distance. A small mouse, Stuart
Little, had become a cat. He had been bitten by a gargoyle.
Courtney and Britney Hums were soon neighing, and pawing the ground.
They were throughbreds.
Mandy went for her next victim, Billy Bob from the mountains. There was
a shreik, but no animal noise.
Mandy was soon in the tree, sewing her cloak, and sipping fresh
“My. What a dinner,” Mandy said happily. Then she heard a bat flutter
past her ear. Her boyfriend, Draco, was waiting for her. The branch she
was sitting on got heavier; Draco was sitting on it.
“I have heard,” Draco said, wiping blood from his lips. “The children
are out to get you, my dear.”
“Oh not them. They cannot hurt me, Draco.” Mandy stirred something
behind her back. Then she turned. “Do you like Stomach Acid soup,
“My favorite, you know that.” Draco answered.
“Good! Try it. It’s fresh,” Mandy took a ladel and lifted it to his
mouth. Stomach Acid melted down his throat and churned in his tummy.
“Now,” Draco began, facing Mandy. “About the children,”
“Draco, try some more,” Mandy said firmly. She shoved some into his
mouth. Suddenly, Mandy’s nostrils lifted. “I smell children!” She cried.
She jumped from the tree and slowly stretched her granite wings.
Heather Summers had flown to a tree nearby, where she met Stuart
and…not Billy Bob. Together, they formed a plan. Heather flew off and
Stuart purred in the tree, grooming himself and waiting.
Heather had flown off to get help from fellow crows. Briteny had gone
off to get Chestnut mares, Courtney Black Beauty and Misty of
“I smell a child!” Mandy roared. She flew into the air and sniffed.
Billy Bob’s sister, Mary Jane, was at the base of the tree, trembling
A neighing was in the distance. 123 horses, led by Courtney and
Briteny, were coming. 5,000 crows darkened the moonlit sky. Thousands of
mice and rats came squeaking in the distance.
Each horse had a flashlight in their mouth, and every five rats and
mice had one supported on it’s back. Each crow was wearing a mirror
cross on their neck, smiling broadly.
Draco began to whimper and crows pulled at his hair, and chewed their
necklaces off. The chains were garlic. There was a howl, and Draco was
gone. He was reduced to cinders.
Mandy was crying. She was sobbing at the base of the tree, while Mary
Jane was screaming in her ear.
“You always wanted to be a star!” She hollered, as every flashlight
shined in her face.
There was another howl, and Mandy vanished.
Even louder, came the beating wings of 40 bats and gargoyles, the only
left in the world. They were no match, though, for light.
Vampires were popping up all over, but the crows were ready. Every five
took a vampire, and knawed at his hair while looping his waist with
The gargoyles made a large circle, at a better advantage to the horses
and mice. They shined their flashlights in the faces, where it was
At exactly 12:00 am, there was a howl that was heard around the world.
All the vampires and gargoyles in the world were gone.
At 12:01, a louder cheering was heard. Each and every person, every
religion and cultar, was celebrating. There house did not have to have
candles on day and night, nor reeking of garlic.