I am a groundhog, and I hate to be on TV because I don’t like to
be shown
off. I guess it would be fine if the people could just come
to my hole
instead, but I would really just like to sleep over Groundhog Day.
I would
want to see my brother do it instead of me, even though he is stupid...
I
don’t know why my shadow is so important! My shadow is creepy
to me. I
think about sleeping a lot... that is why I want to sleep away Groundhog
Day. People these days, they make a groundhog famous when
they see his
shadow. I don’t understand! I am a great groundhog and
all, but why do
they think I’m so special! I am a groundhog, I live in a dirty
hole. You
wouldn’t want to know the life that I live. Every groundhog
day makes me
feel like people notice me. I never really noticed that I
am so famous
until they named a day after me. I am like George Washington,
but I am the
First Groundhog.
Do you have a dark secret that you never told anyone?
Well mine is I have
a girlfriend! I want to be normal like you, I don’t like to
be on TV
especially with cameras. You probably can’t understand what
I am saying
because you don’t know how it is to be famous, but I was famous
the day I
was born. My mom always says don’t change because you want
to be someone
else... but I want a nice life with no one trying to catch me or
step on me
or kill me, and I actually think people will like me for ME not
because I am
famous. I don’t really know, maybe some people like me for me.
Oh and if I
weren’t a groundhog I wouldn’t get the famous dinner, tuna, turkey
with
mashed potatoes, gravy, a pig’s ear, some dirt. My family
says it’s really
what’s on the inside, not your style or your coat, not your bedroom,
it’s
the inside.
If you call 1-800-GROUNDHOG maybe you’ll know what I am talking
about. You
know maybe I could be the first groundhog president, it would be
cool but I
don’t know. I remember when I was a baby my mom would say,
oh dear little
baby don’t cry a tear, mama’s here and there’s nothing to fear.
So, that’s
all about my life... OH and my favorite singers are Lou Bega and
Britney
Spears, do you know of them? Oh and on my birthday you could
see my shadow,
just like it was groundhog day. I never knew that shadow’s
come on
birthdays too. My mom bought me a music box with a beaver
that looked like
me on the front cover, and it said I love you forever and on November
10 my
shadow came back because it was my first day of school. I
think whenever
I’m happy my shadow shows. It changes every time I look at
it, maybe I’m
shaking or something it was really weird. Maybe it was because
I was scared
that someone would know that I was the famous groundhog cuz I was
speckled.
My shadow is only there for a reason, because I don’t know why but
it
protects me or something. Did I do something wrong maybe I
hurt it, let’s
see what can I do to help it? Maybe kiss him - stay still
buddy! Please
ouch! oh! ah! eh! I give up!!!!!!
Maybe I’ve been watching too much TV, could be. I want
to go home, please
mom? No now give them a chance make some friends! Please mom?
Okay but only
this once only because it’s new for you. So I went home and thought
about my
birthday because it was only tomorrow and then I fell asleep and
when I got
up and screamed it’s my birthday I’m only six it’s not my fault!
So my mom
and dad gave me a surprise party and I didn’t even know that they
were up.
If you are a human being you are lucky because you get to
see me every
groundhog day and I’m just a plain old groundhog. You get
a fancy house
that you can live in not a dirty hole. I wish that I could
wear close and
jewelry. I wish I could ride a horse or a pony. I wish
that I could do
cheerleading and soccer. If you ever saw me with earrings
on you would
think I was a model.
I wonder if I could be a real disco dancer. Wouldn’t
it be so cool if you
saw me disco dancing. My mom and I do the boogie when we have
nothing to do
do you? Do you like groundhogs, you should see my shadow when
I boogie. My
mom thinks that I show off because everybody knows that I am the
famous
groundhog because I am speckled.
You know what I always wanted to do? Go to Paris to meet some
french girls
to go to the prom with. I’ve always wanted a girlfriend.
I am very
attractive cuz they’ll see my shadow. I want to live in Paris
because it so
big and a lot of shopping places to shop at. I would like
Florida too
because it has Disneyland. My mama says don’t worry, when
you get older you
can do whatever you please and buy whatever clothes you want, so
I don’t
worry because I know she’s not lying.