If I had a million bucks,

I know just what I’d do,

I’d fly right up to New York City

And tell Regis a thing or two.

With great delight I’d wave the money

All up in his face

And say "ha ha-just look at this-

I’ve already won the race."

All the loyal watchers

Would boo me off the stage,

But to those who feel like me-

I’d be all the rage.

And then I would inform him

That I got here by myself

I didn’t use a lifeline

I just asked myself.

When the show was over

They’d throw me off the set

And said that if I ever came back

They’d do something I’d regret.

But again I’d laugh and say to them

"You may have think you’ve won.

But no matter what you do

I had all the fun."